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| Andrew Garland and Sgt. Jesse Givens' letter |
In honor of Memorial Day, we feel it's only appropriate to post composer Lee Hoiby's poignant song
"Private First Class Jesse Givens" based on the last letter sent home by soldier Jesse Givens. Givens of Springfield, Missouri was killed in Iraq on May 1, 2003 when
his tank crashed into the Euphrates River. Less than two weeks earlier
he had written a heartfelt letter to his pregnant wife, unborn son and
six-year-old stepson. It was to be opened only in the event of his
death.
Here is the entire text of the letter (the song starts in the second paragraph):
My family:
I never thought I would be writing a letter like this, I really don't
know where to start. I've been getting bad feelings though and well if
you are reading this....
I am forever in debt to you, Dakota, and the bean. I searched all my
life for a dream and I found it in you. I would like to think that I
made a positve difference in your lives. I will never be able to make up
for the bad. I am so sorry. The happiest moments in my life all deal
with my little family. I will always have with me the small moments we
all shared. The moments when you quit taking life so serious and smiled.
The sounds of a beautiful boys laughter or the simple nudge of a baby
unborn. You will never know how complete you have made me. Each and
every one of you. You saved me from lonliness and taught me how to think
beyond myself. You taught me how to live and to love. You opened my
eyes to a world I never dreamed existed. I am proud of you. Stay on the
path you chose. Never lose sight of what is important, you and our
babies.
Dakota you are more son then I could ever ask for. I can only hope I
was half the dad. I use to be your "danny" but no matter what it makes
me proud that you chose me. You taught me how to care until it hurts,
you taught me how to smile again. You taught me that life isn't so
serious and sometimes you have to play. You have a big beautiful heart.
Through life you need to keep it open and follow it. Never be afraid to
be yourself. I will always be there in our park when you dream so we can
still play. I hope someday you will have a son like mine. Make them
smile and shine just like you. I love you Toad I hope someday you will
understand why I didn't come home. Please be proud of me. Please don't
stop loving life. Take in every breath like it's your first. I love you
toad I will always be there with you. I'll be in the sun, shadows,
dreams, and joys of your life.
Bean, I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are
beautiful. I know you will be strong and big hearted just like your mom
and brother. I will always have with me the feel of the soft nudges on
your moms belly, and the joy I felt when we found out you were on your
way. I dream of you every night, I always will. Don't ever think that
since I wasn't around that I didn't love you. You were conceived of love
and I came to this terrible place for love. I love you as I do your mom
and brother with all my heart and soul. Please understand that I had to
be gone so that I could take care of my family. I love you Bean.
I have never been so blessed as the day I met Melissa. You are my
angel, soulmate, wife, lover, and best friend. I am sorry. I did not
want to have to write this letter. There is so much more I need to say,
so much more I need to share. A lifetime's worth. I married you for a
million lifetimes. That's how long I will be with you. Please keep our
babies safe. Please find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you
alone. Take care of yourself, believe in yourself, you are a strong, big
hearted woman. Teach our babies to live life to its fullest tell
yourself to do the same. Don't forget to take Toad to Disney World. I
will be there with you. Melissa I will always want you need you and love
you in my heart, mind, and soul. Do me a favor, after you tuck Toad and
Bean in, give them hugs and kisses from me. Go outside look at the
stars and count them. Don't forget to smile.
Love Always
Your husband
Jess
Andrew Garland can be seen tonight performing the
Duruflé
Requiem
and the world premiere of the Mark
Hayes Requiem
at Avery Fisher Hall with the
Distinguised Concert International New York. On May 31, he'll perform in Mozart's
Mass in C Minor and the world premiere of
Meditations on the Lamb by Peter Child with
Chorus pro Musica.